Is a decision really necessary?

Hello Minna! It's been 2 years since my last post and I've missed having my blog-therapy that I think is the reason why I've not been myself lately.

I just wanted to tell a story here where no one would judge me and I could say all sorts of things and no one would think awful of me.

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I was thinking for a long time if you would choose between 2 men.

Guy 1: Understands me or rather tries to. Doesn't share the same hobbies or values but understands me in ways that doesn't require words. He just does.

Guy 2: Is in so many ways like is like me. Like we were practically twins! But the problem is.. sometimes I hate myself.

It really isn't a "real" decision cause Guy 1 is my boyfriend and Guy 2 doesn't like me. But I was thinking if I should stick it with my boyfriend till the serious part *ehem marriage* or should I find a guy like Guy 2. Somebody much like me, would it be better? Would we have fun together?

Then I remember the saying, " A fish in my hand is better than two in the water"

But then... what if I wouldn't be happy? Then, I would have regretted not trying? Agh!! I have to stop overthinking again and just enjoy now.

I'm happy to have met Guy 2 because he showed my how there are actually people who are like me. Like... people like me actually exist! Don't get me wrong, I don't love him. He just unknowingly planted a seed in me *ugh.. no nasty thoughts!*, more like an idea of how it would be like to be with someone with the same values, hobbies and whatnot.


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Deviating from the topic. I just was wondering.. my friend told me that all men are perverted, they just don't show it. That made me think, are all girls perverted? hahaha... I really want to know if I'm abnormal?